32 Oz. To Freedom

2011-03-07T22:27:00.001-05:00

2010-12-09T05:35:00.001-05:00

2010-12-06T02:27:00.002-05:00

2010-12-01T22:47:00.001-05:00

2010-12-01T22:24:00.001-05:00

2010-12-01T22:04:00.002-05:00

Skatings Best

2010-03-18T11:23:00.002-04:00

Greatest skateboarding part in history.

Arto Sarri

"FLiP: Sorry"

That's Illegal?!

2010-03-06T12:45:00.000-05:00

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005)

2010-02-20T15:46:00.002-05:00

Hunter S. Thompson (1937-07-18 – 2005-02-20) was an American journalist and author and was regarded by many as the author of the "greatest book on the dope decade" (The New York Times). He was known for his flamboyant writing style, known as Gonzo Journalism, which blurred the distinctions between writer and subject, fiction and non-fiction. Thompson died at his home in Woody Creek, Colorado, of what police officers stated was a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

I'm not going to sit here and go on and on about Hunter. There's no need. A man of his caliber is the type of person that every now and again comes along and doesn't need an introduction. Those who know him know what it means. And those who don't will either learn, or never know.

I've been a fan of Hunter for many years. Having more than just read his work, I've come to study it. Take it in as deep as the soul and learn from it. To an extent, live by it. Not saying I take red convertibles to Vegas on a head full of acid, but Hunter was the type of person to touch the ones that understood him. As he once put it, "Crazies always recognize each other."

I can sit here and go on about Hunter and the great man and writer he was, but I feel as if it's better for someone to understand on their own. Learn from Hunter on your own experience and it's much more delightful and rewarding in the long run.

Hunter wrote his legacy long ago, and he became bigger than life itself. Which is quite possibly the very thing that brought him to his downfall. He will forever be remembered, not just for some of the most extraordinary pieces of journalism ever written, but for being a person that one can better themselves from. We need more Hunter's in this day and age.

Reminiscing about the Good Doctor has always conjured up more than a few choice moments to chew on. Even now, 5 years later since he made his exit, I still get as keyed up when I think of him as I always did. And though I know he won't be calling and that bastard phone won't be ringing off the hookk in the middle of the night I clearly hear his voice. I hear him "WHOOP!!!" every time "One Toke Over the Line" creeps up on the radio, I feel him puff up when "Sympathy for the Devil" kicks in. He calms and ponders the gravity of "Mr. Tambourine Man". - Depp

He appears when he is needed.

He arrives when absurdity peaks.

I imagine he always will.

I salute you Hunter and everything that have done, and everything that you have given us.

"Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow confines of most men's reality. Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of 'the rat race' is not yet final."

RIP

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005)

Happy Birthday Bob Marley

2010-02-06T15:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Mr. Marley. I'm going to use a quote from the Good Doctor right now, for I think it will go well. Excuse me if I edit it a little to make it fit more appropriately. I'm sure he would be ok with that.

This post is in honor of Robert Nesta "Bob" Marley. A man who could spark an entire nation. A man who has given an entire world a fantastic universal sense that whatever we are doing is right, that we are winning...
And that, I think, is the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil.
Not in any mean or military sense; we don't need that. Our energy will simply Prevail. There is no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We have all the momentum; we are riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.” -Bob Marley

'Robert Nesta "Bob" Marley
(February 6, 1945 – May 11, 1981)

Best Knockouts of 2009 Part II

2010-02-03T19:35:00.000-05:00

Taking a look back at some more of the best MMA knockouts of 2009.

Best Knockouts of 2009

2010-01-21T10:06:00.002-05:00

Let's take a look back at some of the best knock-outs MMA had in 2009.

This is a 2 part series. Check back later for part 2.

A Little For Now

2010-01-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

Just some stuff to help pass the time. And by time I mean about 5 minutes.

If only it were that easy.

Caption this.

Gotta love Yahoo Answers.

Wow. I never want to own a Mac.

Best Of Pride

2010-01-15T10:36:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the night. The night MMA fans all over have been waiting for. UFC and Spike TV will premiere the long anticipated new series, 'The Best of Pride'. This new show showcases some of the best fights from the former #1 MMA Organization from Japan, 'Pride Fighting Championships'. With the likes of fighters such as Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Mauricio 'Shogun' Rua, Wanderlei 'The Axe Murderer' Silva, and Antonio Rodrigo 'Minotauro' Nogueira, Pride was the second largest MMA organization of all time, with arguably some of the best MMA talent ever to be seen, and without a doubt some of the most exciting fights of all time. Less rules, more action, more excitement, and most of all, more Pride. Those who are new to MMA and have never seen/heard of Pride, or those who are long time fans who are just looking for some classics do not want to miss this. 'The Best of Pride' airs tonight at 10PM/9c.

DEA Makes A New Recruit

2010-01-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

The DEA has found a new way to fight the so called "War on Drugs". Their new plan is to send a new recruit down to Mexico to use up all the drugs. Therefore shutting down cartels and drugs shipments into the US. But who might you ask will they recruit to do that? What human being could possibly complete that mission? Who in their right mind would consume that many illegal substances?

So Fly

2010-01-08T02:37:00.002-05:00

UUGGHHHHH I'm still doing a terrible job at this blogging thing. I'm sorry. Sort of. I didn't even post any UFC 108 predictions or anything. Which kind of depresses me, cause it actually gives me something to write about. Oh well. Boo hoo for me.

What's new? I've been playing a lot of Left 4 Dead 2. Good game. I have to say I like the first one better. Mainly for the characters and some levels. I do like how L4D2 takes place in the south though. And they have better guns. Which always makes for more fun.

Lets move along now to the main event. If you will. This video is, well... badass. I want to do this but I don't know If I really would, cause it's kind of scary. Flying through the air at 100 mph. Better know what the fuck you're doing. That's all I gotta say. Anyway check this video out.

'Wingsuit Base Jumping'

Post Christmas Sickness

2009-12-30T20:28:00.000-05:00

Fuck me do I have a lot of catching up to do. Been away for a while these Holiday... um days. Holi days. Whatever. I been sick too. So do forgive me. And forgive me for no Christmas wishes (or whatever you celebrate.) I'll make up for all the lost blogs over the next few days. I mean weeks. Months. Ffffuuuuuu

Anyway here is a pretty fucking funny video to start it off. Some guys make this random guy on the street (presumably a crackhead) chase a laser pointer like a cat. I highly enjoyed this. As will you.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Also, here is a blog post from someone on UFC.com that goes by the name of Pedalninja, and it is the worst MMA fights of 2009. Pretty good list. Check it out for yourself.
2009 MMA Awards: Worst Fights of the Year

Scotch Tape Art

2009-12-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

How many of you knew that you could make art with tape? Regular, clear Scotch tape. I didn't either. Of course I would never be one to say that it isn't possible because I know that art can be made from anything. I've even made things with duck tape before. But who would have thought that such amazing things could be made with everyday Scotch tape. Take a look.

Aqua Teen Christmas

2009-12-16T12:57:00.000-05:00

In honor of the Christmas Holiday (and Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, and everything else) I'm going to let our favorite Jersey Shore neighbor of the Aqua Teens, Carl Brutananadilewski, serenade us with his version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas". Enjoy

Funny Food Art

2009-12-16T00:27:00.000-05:00

I really love art.

And I love humor.

And I also love food.

But you know what I really love?

You guessed it. Humorous art made with food.

Such as this.

Take a look at some other Funny Food Creations

Yes We Cannabis!

2009-12-14T23:27:00.011-05:00

YES WE CANNABIS and YES WE DID! The folks at the The Tax & Regulate Cannabis 2010 here in Oaksterdam California have gathered the 650,000 signatures necessary to put the legalization of marijuana on the November 2010 ballot! This major victory means Californians will be the first in the nation to decide whether they believe marijuana should be legal…taxed and regulated for all adults over 21.
Richard Lee, the president of Oaksterdam University, owner of the famous Coffeeshop Blue Sky, and major financial supporter of the initiative told Stuff Stoners Like, “California voters believe that our laws criminalizing marijuana have failed! 56% of Californian’s support legalization and the time for reform is now.”
The Regulate, Control, and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010 will regulate cannabis like alcohol allowing adults 21 and older in California to posses up to one ounce of cannabis. It will give local governments the ability to tax and regulate the sale of herb to adults 21 and older and it will generate billions of dollars in revenue!

Note:This Post taken from and credited to 'Stuff Stoners Like'

Dana Looks Back. Diego Looks Bad

2009-12-13T10:36:00.004-05:00

I told Liam that I woud only post one more UFC blog post, but last night was just too good to not keep talking about. Sorry Liam.

Heres a video of Dana White looking back on UFC 107 and what he thought about the fights. And his opinion on Tiger Woods. (Which I agree with by the way)

And this is what Diego Sanchez looked like after BJ Penn got through with him. Talk about a "Nightmare".

BJ PENN DOMINATES

2009-12-13T02:36:00.001-05:00

First off I want to say Happy Birthday to BJ Penn. I hope he has the best day cause he deserves it. Dominating Diego Sanchez and shutting up all the shit talkers is a good present if you ask me.

Now that UFC 107 is officially over lets get down to brass tacks and talk about the fights. I'll try not to talk as much as I did in my predictions. I'm not going to talk about the prelims because I didn't get to actually see them. I saw the results and they appear to be some kick ass fights. But I won't be commenting on them tonight. I will say be on the look out for DeMarques Jonson though.

Stefan Struve beats Paul Buentello via Majority Decision
This fight was not what I was expecting. However it didn't shock me at all. Paul did what i thought he was going to do and played it as smart as he could, but when Struve gets a hold of you it's hard to get him off. Buentello landed a big punch in the first round and I thought it was over. Struve got a hold of Paul and got him to the mat and almost got a rear naked choke the entire round but couldn't pull it off. Paul landed some good shots and knocked Struve down and could have capitalized on it, but that meant getting in Struve's guard. And that is just stupid. They exchanged and I thought the decision was close, but that''s why I'm not a judge.

Kenny Florian beats Clay Guida via Rear Naked Choke
This fight went basically how I thought it would. I just didn't think Kenny would be this damn good. I was highly impressed with Kenflo in this fight. Kenny looked better than Diego did in the Diego vs. Guida fight. Guida came after Kenny most of the fight but respected Kenny's talent and didn't come at him like a mad man. They exchanged some blows which Kenny got the best of and eventually Kenny landed one of his machete elbows and cut Guida turning him into a bloody mess. Kenny then landed a solid punch put Guida down and Kenny jumped on him for some ground and pound and eventually a submission. Kenny Florian is a contender for sure.

Jon Fitch beats Mike Pierce via Unanimous Decision
I was looking forward to this fight cause I like Fitch, but ever since GSP made him his bitch he just hasn't been the same. This was the most boring fight of the night by far. Fitch started off doing great but it seemed Pierce got the best of him and wore him down. But Fitch is a fighter and he stayed on him. Pierce did what I thought he would and try to get Fitch to the mat, but he couldn't. Fitch won via boring everyone to death. Again.

Frank Mir beats Cheick Kongo via Guillotine Choke
I was questioning if all the weight Mir put on would be an issue for this fight and if he could still fight the same. Nope. Not at all. If anything it has made him better. Frank Mir was fucking phenominal. He came right out and didn't waste anytime at all. Sized Kongo up, hit him with a solid left hand that dropped him, got on him, grabbed him in the tightest choke I've ever seen from Mir, and put Kongo to sleep. 1 minute and 27 seconds is all it took for Frank Mir to knock Cheick Kongo out of the way with ease and prove to everyone that he is more than prepared for a rematch with Brock.

BJ Penn beats Diego Sanchez via TKO (Referee Stoppage Due To Cut)
I don't even know what to say. Like I said all along, everyone is underestimating BJ Penn and Diego has nothing in his bag. BJ Penn embarrassed Diego Sanchez. And that is it. I think Diego landed one uppercut. Diego came at BJ in the first round and BJ lit him up and almost finished the fight within the first few minutes. After this Diego just fell apart. He had no plan, no strategy, nothing. He didn't do a goddamn thing. From that point on he knew he was beat and if he says otherwise he is lying. He got he face smashed and out boxed by BJ so badly that he didn't even try to engage the next 4 rounds. All he would do is gab BJ and hold him against the cage until BJ pushed him away with a hard fist to his face. He never actually tried to take BJ down though it seemed. He knew that it would be pointless to do because as well as being out boxed BJ would out wrestle him and embarrass him on the ground too. Diego looked helpless and his face looked like Cotto after Pacquiao was done with him. I could go on and on about how Diego had absolutely no answer for BJ and the only reason he lasted 5 rounds was because he didn't do shit. He didn't try to box, he didn't try to wrestle, he did nothing. I don;t want to say Diego was scared, but I think he was scared of admitting to himself he was beat. Anyway BJ dominates Diego up to the 5th round and then catches him right on the forehead with a brutal leg kick and cut him wide open resulting in the fight to be stopped. As Joe Rogan would say, BJ put a goat vagina on Diego's head.
BJ is the best 155 pounder in the world and one of the most skilled fighters of all time. BJ Penn is hanging on to that belt for a while, and with BJ in the state he is in now, I see no threats to him any time soon.

UFC 107 Predictions

2009-12-12T00:42:00.003-05:00

With UFC 107 only 21 hours away I decided it was a good time to go ahead and post my predictions. I actually wanted to do this like a week ago, but I've been a little busy so I'm going to do it now. I'll run through the under card real quick then I'll discuss my picks for the main card.

UNDERCARD

Kevin Burns vs. TJ Grant

Kevin Burns by Unanimous Decision

DaMarques Johnson vs. Edgar Garcia
DaMarques Johnson by Unanimous Decision

Rousimar Palhares vs. Lucio Linhares
Rousimar Palhares by Unanimous Decision

Johny Hendricks vs. Ricardo Funch
Johny Hendricks by (T)KO

Matt Wiman vs. Shane Nelson
Matt Wiman by Unanimous Decision

Alan Belcher vs. Wilson Gouveia
Wilson Gouveia by Unanimous Decision

MAINCARD

Paul Buentello vs. Stefan Struve
Paul Buentello by (T)KO
Two big guys with two different styles. I was leaning towards Struve to get a submission, but I don't see how he can do this unless he gets Paul on the ground. And that won't be an easy thing to do. Paul will come right at Struve and hunt him down and punches will be exchanged. This is not something that Struve handles very well. And he certainly can't take a Paul Buentello punch. Unless Struve can get the fight to the mat he's going to get hurt. I think Buentello will take this fight by TKO.

Kenny Florian vs. Clay Guida
Kenny Florian by Submission
This is the fight I'm most uncertain about. Kenny is a master in BJJ and has some vicious elbows and ground work. Guida is about explosive as they come and it's basically impossible to finish him. Guida could work Kenny and either get a KO with his crazy fists, or take him down and ground and pound him for a TKO. Or work Kenny and control the fight the entire time and get a decision. Kenny could control Guida majority of the fight to get a decision, get a stoppage due to cut, or get a submission at any point if Guida isn't careful. This fight can easily go either way and I'm not picking sides in this because I like both fighters, but I think Guida's craziness will get the best of him and he'll walk right into a choke. I say Kenny Florian by submission.

Jon Fitch vs. Mike Pierce
Jon Fitch by (T)KO
Jon Fitch is an amazing fighter with good hands and an ever growing ground game who easily finished his fights, and I see him finishing off Mike Pierce late first round or early second round. However I would love for Pierce to pull an upset. I just highly doubt that happening.

Frank Mir vs. Cheick Kongo
Frank Mir by Submission
I am so hyped for this fight it's making my head spin. Again, two big guys wiht completely different styles. And the masters of each. Frank Mir without a doubt has the best wrestling/BJJ in the HW devision and Kongo has the best stand up. This fight could go any way at any time. Mir has great boxing he would not be smart to trade with Kongo. And Kongo does not want to go to the ground with Mir. Mir is still obsessed with fighting Brock Lesnar and he knows he has to beat Kongo to do so, so I think this will give him the drive to take Kongo down and submit him. But Mir put on a lot of weight and ended up wighing 265. And I'm pretty certina he had to cut to make that which makes me wonder how much he will weigh when it comes time to fight. With all of this extra weight he is carrying around will he still be able to menouvire and perform the same? I don't know. With this added weight I don't know if he could actually submit Kongo, even wiht his ground skill. This could be a boring fight. Kongo on the other hand hates Mir with passion and is going to be looking to finish this early as possible with some ground and pound. Kongo is not one to really finish fights or known for KO, so I don't see him KO-ing Mir. Kongo is going to need to finish this as quickly as he can. I'm a big fan of both guys, but my money is on Mir for this fight. Although I would really love for Kongo to prove me wrong.

BJ Penn vs. Diego Sanchez
BJ Penn by whatever he wants.
I really think people are underestimating BJ in this fight. If you want to break down fighters skills and achievements and talk about 'pound for pound', BJ is at the top of the list. (not #1 of course, but some say top 5) Diego has nothing in his bag that poses any threat to BJ in my eyes. BJ is twice the fighter that Joe Stevenson and Clay Guida are and Diego couldn't finish either one. BJ completely destroyed Joe Daddy with ease, and would do the same to Guida. Everyone is talking about BJ's cardio like it's a factor, but it's not. BJ can last 5 rounds. Diego never has. Not that he can't, but at least we know BJ can. BJ has quite possibly the best boxing in the business. And Diego wants to meet in the center of the octagon. If Diego puts his crazy face on and runs to the center to meet BJ he's going to going to get met with a fist. A few of them at that. He can try and trade with BJ but again it won't be a smart choice. So what does he do then? Take BJ down? BJ has some of the best BJJ in the business as well. Not just saying this as a fan. It's fact. BJ will easily out wrestle Diego and eventually submit him or get a TKO. Now I'm not counting Diego out at all cause that would be stupid, but he just doesn't have the skills to match BJ. If there is ever a time to root for an underdog I guess it would be now. Diego is explosive as they come and has more heart than most fighters, but it won't be enough. Even if he does last all 5 rounds I don't see him earning more points than BJ. BJ is either getting a submission in the 3rd or 4th round or a unanimous decision.

Kimbo Will Get Sliced

2009-12-10T16:46:00.000-05:00

So we just saw 'The Ultimate Fighter' season 10 finale the other night on Spike, and one of, if not the biggest match that night (supposed to be) was between Kimbo Slice and Houston Alexander. What a disappointment. We all expected to see a slug fest that didn't even last the first round. We got 3 rounds of an improved but still boring Kimbo and an even more boring Alexander. First round was Houston circling the octagon. 2nd round was basically the same thing with a few exchanges thrown in and some kicks by Alexander. 3rd round we almost saw Kimbo cry when Houston dropped him with a vicious leg kick, and we saw some shocking but amazing suplexes by Kimbo earning him the decision.
Now the only thing that this fight pretty much proved, was how bad a fighter Houston Alexander is. Of course we got to see a improved Kimbo which is good, but he is nothing to get excited about. Kimbo seemed ot have the better boxing skills than Houston, which isn't saying much cause without his first round explosiveness like we know him to have, Houston isn't that great when it comes to boxing. Houston has also never gone 3 rounds which lead to him gassing by the third. That certianly didn't help. Kimbo looked a lot better than what we thought he would and he showed that his grappling and wrestling was getting better.

But he still has a weakness.

His weak little legs. On top of his already bad knees Kimbo has without a doubt the smalles weakest legs in the game. Now I know you can work out and build your legs up, but there is not much you can do when it comes to taking a kick form a top contender like Griffin or Shogun. This is what's going to make Kimbo's UFC career short. He isn't going to get many wins unless they are by KO or decision. His ground game is getting better which could help a lot, but I wouldn't count on it. Unless someone gets in the center of the ring and bangs with him, he doesn't have much chance at winning. Against anyone. Why? Cause people are smart. Everyone knows he has heavy hands and one punch KO power so why stand there and throw punches with him. They do know that he has really weak legs and he can't take a kick. So anyone that fights him is just going to chop him down with leg kicks. It would be kind of stupid not to. And since he is apparently dropping down to LHW, there are not many opponents that he has a chance at beating.
Unless they feed him cans. But Kimbo's name draws in money, and no one is going to want ot watch Kimbo beat up no names. So they are goign to have to match him with fighters who have known names. And there are not many known name fighters who Kimbo could take. I would say Stephan Bonnar would be a good match up. He would bang with Kimbo, and his ground game isn't the best, which would give Kimbo a pretty high chance. As quick as Kimbo's wrestling/BJJ is improving I would say Kimbo could easily win that fight.
Another good match over time would be Tito. Kimbo could easily out box Tito which would leave Tito to taking Kimbo to the mat, and since they are pretty equal in size and strength, from my knowledge, it could be pretty even. Hopefully Kimbo will have improved his ground work enough to put up a decent fight. Otherwise Tito is just going to manhandle him and GnP him to victory.

Now I'm not counting Kimbo out, cause I like the guy, but I just can't see him doing very good in the UFC. I could very well be wrong and I hope I am cause I would love to see the guy do good, but I just don't think he will. I see him gogin up against some pretty skilled fighters and getting beat. And while he may be improving the whole time it won't be enough and after a few losses the UFC will cut him. And Kimbomania will be no more. But maybe by then he will have enough skill and experience to go to another company like Strikeforce. And hopefully they won't hype him just for his name alone. Maybe the UFC can let him fight Chuck Liddel and even if Kimbo loses, which I don't see how he wouldn't, people can forgive him for the loss and he can get a few more fights.

Only time will tell.

More To Come

2009-12-08T08:10:00.000-05:00

So I just recently noticed that there are a lot of things I intended on discussing on my blog that I have yet to do. Majority of the time I am either talking about skating, art, drug laws, posting YouTube videos, or making top 10 lists. One of the main reason I made this blog was to talk about UFC and other MMA fights, but I haven't done that once since I started doing this. That is going to change. I'm not going to start at this exact moment, but I can assure you, you will be seeing a lot more MMA posts from now on.

On that not here is a video of Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva.

Snowman House of Horrors

2009-12-05T10:47:00.000-05:00

It snowed here last night. And I didn't actually notice until about an hour after I woke up this morning. About an hour and a half ago. I was walking back from the kitchen and I noticed that it was very "white" outside. I had to take a double glance. And sure enough. Snow. I haven't seen snow in probably 10 years. maybe more. It just doesn't snow in Florida. Not that I'm complaining. Most of the time snow means cold weather. And even though i love snow, I hate cold weather. So I'll take my warm Florida sun over snow any day.

Anyway. For the past hour and a half I've been outside throwing snow balls at the dog. He loves it. Then in honor of the snow and the Christmas Holiday I made a snowman. A miniature snowman, but still... it's the thought that counts. Complete with stick arms and everything. Oh, and split-shots for fishing make perfect eyes for mini snowmen. Just a tip. My hands are still frozen. I'm like straining just to type this out.

Moving on.

In honor of the snow and my wonderfully crafted mini snow guy, here are some of my favorite Calvin & Hobbes 'Snowman House of Horrors' comics.

The Loop

2009-12-01T03:04:00.000-05:00

Aahh the loop. I've seen people perform the loop on bikes, skateboards, and even motorcycles, but I can't say that I have ever seen it done with a car. Not saying that it has never been done before this, but to my knowledge it hasn't. Anyway... this is pretty fucking cool. Now if only we can get someone to do it on a horse or something. Maybe some rocket skates. Who's up?

This Is What I Do

2009-11-29T03:38:00.000-05:00

Classic Tim and Eric.

Great job!

Bat Porn

2009-11-27T20:33:00.000-05:00

You decide. I happen to like this.

Bong Tax

2009-11-25T18:30:00.000-05:00

This is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.

Two Florida Lawmakers Propose 25% Bong Tax

This makes absolutely no sense what so ever. This whole 'sin' tax bullshit is getting out of hand is just creating more problems than it is fixing. I say if they want to pull this shit then put a tax on lighters and matches. Nothing can be proven that these pipes are being purchased for illegal use. Plus raising the price of pipes and bongs isn't going to stop anything or gain the state money. People will just buy them somewhere else. Like the internet where they can get better quality and selection for less. That or just make their own at home. Fuck I'm from Florida and I love it there, but goddamn. This is just sad.

Like the one guy said, these types of laws are so full of moral hypocrisy it's laughable. The State sanctions gambling, alcoholism, and lung diseases, collects tax revenue on it all, but thinks smoking pot should be illegal.

We are doomed.

Special Delivery

2009-11-25T04:35:00.000-05:00

It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm up with a cold. I mean it's not really a surprise that I'm up... or that I'm sick for that matter... people do get sick... so that's not all that weird... anyway. Look at this picture. Look at it. Isn't it funny? I think so. I think things like this need to happen more often. In fact I think they need to make a whole TV show out of this. Place delivery orders and when they show up have the most random crazy things going on in the background. Genius if you ask me. But don't ask.

Hit Me

2009-11-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

Just to clear a few things up with everyone. As I said before, I got some things going on at the moment. This chart should help clarify my situation a little bit better. No girl problems here.

P.S. I really don't feel that bad for you. Son.

Illusionating Dragon Paper

2009-11-23T02:42:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't really been updating like I should be... and to be honest I really don't care. I have been kind of busy these past couple of days or so and some things have come up and I just haven't been able to sit down and update on a daily basis. What kind of things you ask? Important things. More important than blogging everyday. That's right... I said it. Fuck you.

Anyway... moving along. Lets get to the post. Uh oh! He's going to post another dumb YouTube video. Yep. That's right. Another video because im too lazy to actually type out a decent blog post. Deal with it. Plus I have something that I'm currently working on at the moment that will be posted in a few days. This is a paper dragon illusion. Three great things in one. It's paper (Yes!)... it's a dragon (Fuck Yes!)... and it's an illusion (Came!). What??

Shit was so Nash.

Let's Die

2009-11-20T22:26:00.000-05:00

I appear to be on a video posting binge. It's easy. Fuck off.

This is a funny little video about a number, 25 to be exact, of different ways to die. Ok, so it's really not that funny, but it's still funny. I personally like the animation in it the most. Along and some of the ways of death of course. Like the 'Take at own risk' part. I would like to die a little more crazy, hardcore,
exciting death to be honest. But that has nothing to do with this.

Back With Something New. Sort Of

2009-11-19T22:33:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, been a while eh?

So I don't know if you have ever heard of a Munny, but i just found them a few weeks ago and I seriously want one or twelve. If you have never seen one they are these little figurines made by Kidrobot that come all white so you can paint and color and make them look however you want to.

Or in Wikipedia terms: A Munny doll is a blank (sometimes colored, sometimes not) figure owner can decorate using pens, pencils, markers, paint, and other pigments. A Munny doll is made out of vinyl and has movable joints. The first Munny doll was white, and has since been available in other colors such as black, pink, blue, and phosphorescent green. The figure is housed in a box which includes 4 random accessories that vary from a different series (1 through 4, 4 being the latest) such as a carrot or a hat. The doll also includes one out of a series of collectible coloring books..

Anyway... since I'm big into art and such i would love to get my hands on a few of these and customize my own little characters. And if you ever want something new you can just paint the Munny white and start all over.

Here is the link so you can buy one too. MUNNY! By Kidrobot

and...

Here is a video of some Munny's that a few artists have designed. Pretty fucking cool if you ask me.

Risky Business Is Risky

2009-11-16T00:34:00.000-05:00

Picture unrelated.

If you spend quite a bit of time on the Internet like I do, then I'm sure you come across those certain pictures or videos that you just hate to laugh at. You know, the ones where you know you shouldn't laugh but you can't help yourself. The Internet is full of material like this. If you have no clue what I'm talking about then I suggest you lurk some more. If you are just a moral fag who has no sense of humor, then you might just want to go fuck yourself. Anyway this isn't one of those videos. So go ahead and watch. And laugh. Laugh fucking hard.

Well it seems again I should have checked out the video more first before I wrote all that shit cause now I look like an asshole. Fuck you people who don't allow embedding of their videos from YouTube. Fuck you hard. So looks like I'm fucked out of a video again and reduced to a shitty link. So click it.

RISKY BUSINESS IS RISKY

Tweetlejuice

2009-11-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

Well I was going to post a funny video I found on YouTube but due to that embedding disabled bullshit it won't let me. So I guess I hove to go old school here and just post a fucking link.

Anyway it's a Beetlejuice spoof that has to do with Twitter.

Tweetlejuice! Tweetlejuice! Tweetlejuice!

Flawless Victory

2009-11-11T22:39:00.000-05:00

Mortal Kombat is without a doubt one of the greatest games ever created. From the arcade to the Super Nintendo to the Play Station, Mortal Kombat has always reigned supreme when it comes to fighting games. Many have tried to challenge, and while some games such as Tekken and Street Fighter do have their own name and place in the gaming world, it always seems to come back to Mortal Kombat as being the one on top.

But what if Mortal Kombat had another side to it? A side of spoofs and outtakes and... well, mishaps.

There are like 7 of these videos in total. To to see the rest of them just go to YouTube and watch. I'm not posting 7 videos of this crap.

I'm Not Paying For That

2009-11-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

I'm probably alone on this, but I just don't understand strippers. Or better yet... I don't understand the people who do like strippers. It really just does not make any sense to me. Yes I have seen strippers, and even know some personally outside of the 'stripper world', but it still baffles me. I've seen more action in a dance club to tell you the truth. I mean... I just don't understand how you can sit at a table, and give away your hard earned (or not) money to watch some random slut dance around a pole on stage.

Why?

Is it more of a "let me watch you dance naked" fetish, or a "here take my money cause I'm a loser with nothing better to do" type deal? I mean sure some of them are hot. But out of the total stripper percentage I'm sure those numbers are very small. Same thing probably goes for cleanliness. And if it's a sexual thing, then why not just go get laid? Or is that part of the whole stripper "fantasy"?

Someone please enlighten me on this.

Congratulations! You Suck!

2009-11-09T19:03:00.002-05:00

This post is long over due. They need shit loads more of these. Everywhere. TV, radio, internet, newspapers, and magazines. Fuck, even billboards. Blast the fuckers. I know everyone has been waiting for this, and I'm going to give it to you. I don't need to explain anything because this post needs no introduction.

'The Top 10 People Who Suck At Life'

#10. Straight Edge

Doing nothing has never been more hard-core.

#9. Frat/Sorority Members

Does anyone other than you really care? Probably not.

#8. Bad Parents

Castration! Double Castration!

#7. Rednecks/White Trash

It's not his fault that his dad, brother, and uncle are the same person.

#6. Stuck Up People

Nothing like an over whelming sense of undeserved accomplishment.

#5. Emo Kids

Since when was being a whiny pussy in make up and girl jeans popular?

#4. Posers

When being yourself is not an option.

#3. Douche Bags

Look up "suck" in the dictionary and you'll find this guy.

#2. Religious Freaks

Jesus loves everyone. Except you. He hates you.

#1. Racists

Hating a person because of their color. Makes sense.

Robo-Trip

2009-11-08T23:23:00.000-05:00

Dextromethorphan (DXM) is an antitussive drug. It is one of the active ingredients used to prevent coughs in many over-the-counter cold and cough medicines. Dextromethorphan has also found other uses in medicine, ranging from pain relief to psychological applications. It is sold in syrup, tablet, and lozenge forms manufactured under several different brand names and generic labels. In its pure form, dextromethorphan occurs as a white powder.

When exceeding label-specified maximum dosages, dextromethorphan acts as a dissociative psychedelic drug. Its mechanism of action is as an NMDA receptor antagonist, producing effects similar to those of the controlled substances ketamine and phencyclidine (PCP).

It's Showtime!

2009-11-08T02:13:00.000-05:00

Found this song not too long ago. Did not know that it existed. I'm a big fan of MC Chris. First heard him back in like 2004. I also love Beetlejuice. I mean who doesn't? It's fucking classic. I love it enough that when i was younger I would draw doors on all the walls in my bedroom with crayon and knock 3 times hoping to pass over to the other side. You know, of the 'recently Deceases'. Of course nothing would happen. Which would frustrate the shit out of me. But that's another story.

Anyway... this is a "Secret Song" by MC Chris about Beetlejuice.

ASK ME

2009-11-06T22:42:00.000-05:00

I’m pretty certain by all of the comments that I don’t get that a lot of you out there are probably have a lot of questions on mind for me. Perhaps questions pertaining to my lack of morals, or my off behavior. Maybe even a question about my blog. Whatever it may be, this is the place that you will do it for now on.

Even if you don’t have questions about me or my blog, I’m sure you have some kind of need to know about something out there. It doesn’t matter what. Ask me about anything. Politics, sex, beach towels, or even dinosaur cookies. And no I’m not referring to cookies in the shape of a dinosaur.

If you have ever wondered anything about anything, myself included, then feel free to post your questions on this page in comment form, and I shall answer them to the best of my ability. Or to the best of my ability to which your tiny brain can comprehend. And if necessary I will even go to such great lengths and draw the answer out with crayons and post on here for you to see and understand.

With that said, ask away. This post is to be infinite. Which means the more I get the better it makes it. Lets not hesitate with the questions either. And lets not be shy either. Even if its two years down the road, I still want you to post your questions here for me to ask. I won’t ignore you. I promise.

For a quick and easy way to get to this page, just click on the WWWYZZERDD image located on the right side of the page. It says “ASK ME” on it.

#REHAB

2009-11-05T23:43:00.001-05:00

Addiction is a real problem. No matter what it is. Any thing can become an addiction. Drugs. Food. Sex. The possibilities of developing a need and habit for something is endless. But there seems to be one addiction that takes the list. And it's growing rapidly.

Twitter Addiction.

If you think you may have it then you should get checked immediately. You might think you're normal. But guess what? You're probably not.

Lets say someone were to tweet something saying they took a test to see how addicted they are to Twitter... whats the first thing you do? You rush to the site and take the test to see how bad you have it. That's the real question. We know that you are addicted, but the only question is how addicted are you?

To help you out lets look at a few 'Signs of Twitter Addiction'.

You Can Ration Your Rate Limit

No one likes twitter jail. But your API is almost out and doesn't reset for another 30 minutes. Everyone is tweeting and you have to give your input. You try to last. But you don't. You lose.

You Know What Avatar Is Best For Someone
A Twitter friend has changed their picture 14 times. You know every one of those pictures and which one is your favorite. Creep.

Twitter Shows Up In Real Life
Through out your day things happen and you say 'I need to tweet that.'
And you always have dreams about tweeting. Or your followers are in your dreams. Even Brit.ney.

You Get Your News From Twitter
It's Guy Fawkes Day. Who? V for Vendetta. Idiot.

You Go To Events or Meet/Date People From Twitter

Well sweety, me and mommy met on Twitter. As soon as I saw her picture, I just knew I had to follow her. It was love at first tweet.

You Actually Hate Someone On Twitter
You've never met them, but their tweets make you rage.
So basically, in 140 characters or less someone was able to make you despise them. That's talent.

You Judge People On Their Follower/Following Count
MistaKush looks like a cool guy. He followed you, and has a nice avatar.Lets see... he's following 867 people, but only has 43 followers. Fuck him.

When The Twitter Server Is Down You Lose All Hope

This is the top sign of Twitter Addiction. It's taken away from you and you don't know what to do.
You have no clue what's going on or what people are doing. Oh the humanity.

Freeman

2009-11-04T23:11:00.001-05:00

Halo is pretty popular. There is no denying that. And it seems ot just be getting more and more popular every day. New game comes out, more fans jump on the Master Chief bandwagon.

Not me though. Yes I have been a fan of Halo. I used to play quite regular. It is fun. But it doesn't compare to some other games out there. And if you read my posts, or know me you might know where I'm going with this.

No not Metal Gear Solid. Even though I do believe Snake is the ultimate bad-ass of all bad-asses, and is at the top of the list of video game characters. But I'm not talking about Snake. I'm referring to a certain scientists that has a fetish for crowbars.

Or Else

2009-11-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

Religion. There's many forms of it... but in reality, they're all the same at the end of the day. At times evil - at others joyous. I can see the bigger picture for most religious people and how it helps them in many ways. Most other times though, I just can't grasp on why and how. But I'm not one to question or degrade someone or something that gives that person strength for living.

Anyway, if you are one of the many religious fanatics that take every thing and everyone serious and lose your mind and go ape shit when someone says something that may go against, contradict, or insult your beliefs, then you might just want to leave now.

The rest of you can stay and have a good laugh.

LOLWUT?

2009-11-02T14:20:00.000-05:00

Most people you talk to now a days will agree that the Internet has made a fairly big impact on society. Mostly through social networking, free porn, gaming, and Google. But what does society give to the Internet?

The Meme.

Internet Memes come and go. Well, some don't go... even when they should. Love them or hate them they are there and will continue to be there and spawn new minions of nuisance. In between the cats asking for cheezeburgers and the shock sites of grotesque body mods and snuff videos there may lie a few memes that are fun, enjoyable, and only used when appropriate. These are ok because they are still at cult status and are not used over 9000 times.

But put all those together and somewhere at the top you are going to have the most godawful creations to ever take like on the Internet. And I think I have narrowed it down to the worst of the worst.

Lets look at the 'Top 5 Most Annoying Internet Memes'.

#5. Demotivational Posters

#4. Chuck Norris Facts/Jokes

#3. Internet Speak

#2. LOL Cats

#1. Rick Roll

Not.A.Damn.Thing.

2009-11-02T01:15:00.001-05:00

I have absolutely nothing to say. So I was told to blog about it. And that's what I'm doing.

I've been playing the kazoo all day. Mostly the 'Muppet's' theme. Except for when I started playing some rock song that I had stuck in my head but I couldn't figure out what it was cause it was only like the main riff of the song I could think of. Turned out to be Guns N' Roses.

On another note I'm hopefully going to Vegas in like a month. Lets keep our dirty little fingers crossed. That's about all the detail I have on that subject. More to come when I know. Maybe. What is there to do in Vegas? Besides the obvious of course. Someone give me some tips. Some 'Must Do' things. Or like give me a 'Top 10' list of things to do in Vegas. Cause you know how much I love those top lists.

Samhain Forever

2009-10-31T22:33:00.001-04:00

Costumes and Cluelessness

2009-10-30T16:59:00.001-04:00

So tomorrow is Halloween. Wonderful. Another excuse to get hammered. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it is because the thought of eating candy sounds horrible because I've been eating it for the past week. Oh wait... get dressed up in a ridiculous costume for a few hours and get hammered. Maybe if I wasn't out of my territory I would go reak some havoc. But I am like a tiger in the city. Only backwards. So like a Tiger that lives in a city but then he is put in the Jungle. Yeah. Like that.

Anyway I don't have a costume. Sort of. I mean I have 2 ideas. So I need some help.

Idea #1. Nathan Explosion from the band Dethklok and the Adult Swim show Metalocalypse.

Idea #2. Zombie Jesus from the classic science fiction novel The Bible.

So those are my ideas. Both are pretty simple. But I'm leaning more towards Jesus because I'm sure there are going to be 43950948508 Nathan Explosions walking around the country tomorrow night. And how many Zombie Jesus' do you expect to see? That's right.

Anyway. Everyone have fun and ~~be safe~~ fuck shit up. And watch out for those razorblades and rat poison we've been warned about for the past 50 years but no one has ever seen.

Bread and Barz

2009-10-29T23:21:00.001-04:00

(click picture)

Looks like the homie Asher Roth finally woke up from his bread isle nap. And guess what? He's got a new freestyle out for you to hear. Clever words and a smooth flow. What else would you expect from him?

He's also got a new mixtape coming out. 'The Greenhouse Effect 2' will be out soon. So be on the look out for that. If it's anything like the first one, it's a must have.

Check out 'The Daily Kush' for all your Asher Roth updates.

32 Ounce Award

2009-10-28T14:46:00.003-04:00

Well apparently I have started a new trend here at 32 Ounces. One that only comes once a year and only in the month of October. Or I guess it could come once a week for all of October. Even though I'm just slightly behind if that's the case. I guess we will just have to go with once a year. I like it that better that way. It makes it more epic. I don't won't to overload it and then run out of material to use.

Anyway, I've come up with the new 'Stoner Halloween Costume of the Year'.

Nice. I feel like an award show now. And this years award for Stoner Halloween Costume of 2009 goes to...

'The 4:20 Alarm Clock'

Congratulations on your big win. I know a lot of you were probably expecting Cheech, or Towlie, or an officer from Super Troopers (Not a bad idea). But it turns out this little gem takes the cake. Literally.

Here's the link if you want one '4:20 Alarm Clock'

I'm the Goddamn Batman

2009-10-27T23:10:00.000-04:00

This is my dream. This is what I want to do for a living. For the rest of my life. Well this and of course eat and sleep and sex and whatnot. But this is just fucking amazing. It wouldn’t even have to be me scaring people. Just hang out all day in a Bat costume. And no, not is some weird furry kind of way. Fuck all that. I just want to hang around (literally) all day dressed up as a giant bat. If you know me, then you know why. If you don’t know me, then don’t ask. Cause you don’t need to know. Anyway, hats off to whoever this is and their fucking awesome Bat attire.

A New Smoking Device

2009-10-26T03:17:00.000-04:00

So I have decided to purchase a new bong. Or actually me and the Mrs. have decided to purchase a new bong. It's been almost 3 years since I've owned one so I think I'm about due for a new one. My last one went through hell, but I held on to it for as long as I could. I had a kickass name for it too... but I don't remember. I was drunk one day and dropped a beer bottle on it. Straight on it. Perfectly straight. It was amazing. Until the beer bottle shattered all over my floor and chipped the top on my bong. And it was all down hill from there.

I have a few ideas of what I'm looking for, but I need some opinions and advice on what to get. I really like pieces such as RooR bongs for the fact that they are just damn good quality. And they smoke great. Maybe for my next bong. For this one I'm looking for something a little more stylish. I have a name for it already, but I refuse to say what it is because it is so fucking epic that everyone will steal it. Even people that don't smoke will be so hyped on it that they will go out and purchase a bong just to name it that and start smoking. It will turn strait edge kids into stoners. Ok that's enough.

Anyway here a few pictures of some styles I'm leaning towards. Let me know what you think and if you know of anything that you think is better then let me know.

This is my #1 pick so far.

This is my former bong.

I like this cause it's like a combination of the first two.

Sorry. No Internet for You

2009-10-25T16:31:00.000-04:00

I like this picture.

I also hate this picture.

How so you ask? Well look at the cat on the left. See the way he talks? I want to murder everyone who talks like that. It's fucking stupid. Stop it. You are not being cute. You are making yourself look like a retard. It's not funny.

Now look at the cat on the right. He has no fucking clue what is going on. And he most likely never will. To me this represents all the idiots out there who don't understand how the internet works and take everything that they see online serious. These are the people who are constantly getting trolled. Who leave page long comments about how they feel about something or someone. Stop it. No one cares what you think. The people who seriously argue with someone over the internet while the person they argue with is laughing at them and just doing it to piss them off. The people who don't 'get it'. These people should not be allowed online. There should be some kind of test you have to take to be able to use the internet. Or at least give them their own internet where people like that can browse together.

Make sense?

Shock-O-Lantern

2009-10-24T21:22:00.000-04:00

Nothing says 'Happy Halloween' like a beautifully carved jack-o-lantern.

And nothing says 'What the fuck?' like a beautifully carved jack-o-lantern that takes its theme from one of the worst internet memes of all time.

I give to you... The Goatse Pumpkin

Isn't this what you have always wanted? I don't know what the fuck I would do if I saw this in front of someones house. I guess one of two things would happen. I would laugh and award the guy '1 internetz' for his creative genius. Or, I would smash the pumpkin and repeatedly kick the guy in the balls until he was coughing up blood.

YouTubes

2009-10-23T18:22:00.000-04:00

I'm currently working on another big post (yes. another list) that should be up in a day or two. Or three. Who knows. So in the meantime I will share with you a few of my favorite YouTube videos. I just recently found these and I find them pretty fucking hilarious. You may have seen these already, but I don't care. If you have then go away.

Trick-Or-Treat

2009-10-23T03:43:00.005-04:00

Hot chicks in slutty little costumes. Isn't that what Halloween is all about? It is for me. That's for sure. It's definitely a reason for guys to go out to Halloween parties. Fuck the candy. There's nothing like a hot girl in a little outfit showing off all her goods that you'll never get. Bummer.

On a brighter note, I've put together a little list that I think you will enjoy. Hopefully. I know I enjoy it. I enjoyed putting it together at least. If that counts for anything. Anyway... this is a little Halloween inspired list that I like to call 'The Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes'.

#10. Nemo
This may be the weirdest form of beastiality ever.

#9. Alice in Wonderland

Listening to "White Rabbit" will never be the same. (Should have used a mushroom joke)

#8. A Nun

Fucking Christ! Is what she does best. Goes perfect with a Priest costume. Of course.

#7. Convict

Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'jailbait'.

#6. A Ghostbuster

I'd sure like to Slimer. Get it?

#5. Police Officer

Now I hate cops, but this is nice.

#4. Chun Li from Street Fighter
Now this is badass! Only way it could get more badass is if she could roundhouse kick anyone who says something sexual to her.

#3. Fook Mi & Fook Yu

That gum commercial is still right. Being Asian should be a requirement. Nothing more stupid than a blonde girl with a southern accent named Fook Yu.

#2. German Beer Girl

Hallo hübsche Dame! This might be my favorite. Kills 2 birds with one stone. Sexy girl in sexy outfit, and beer.

#1. Pirate

Guess what? I lied. This is my favorite. Cause Pirates are cool. Swab the Deck! Arrggg! Semen! Blah Blah

REMINDER: Not everyone can make these costumes look 'sexy'.

8-bit Trip

2009-10-22T20:15:00.005-04:00

While I prepare everything I need for my real post, I shall keep you entertained with a little video I came across. You may have seen this already, but I just saw it for the first time today. It's a little video some guys made about (for the most part) 8-bit video games. Games from Atari and Nintendo. Only they made it all out of Lego's. It was done with stop motion and apparently took them 1500 hours. It's a very entertaining video and it's very well made. If you enjoy old Nintendo games then you can appreciate this video.

You Can't Say That

2009-10-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

This isn't something I would normally blog about, and I don't exactly know how blog worthy it is. But I'm doing it regardless.

It seems Twitter has sparked some controversy over one of it's 'Trending Topics', and censorship? Now on Facebook you can talk about, post, and say whatever the fuck you would like. No matter what it is. Offensive, degrading, racist, sacrilegious, or whatever. Not that I recommend it. And the same goes for Myspace.

But apparently not on Twitter.

A number of people are accusing Twitter of altering the trending topics. It started out with the two topics 'No God' and 'Know God', but eventually ended up only being 'Know God'. Even though 'No God' was tweeted more times and at one point was the top trending topic.

The topic was started by Rev Run who tweeted the phrase "Know God. Know Peace. No God. No Peace." which started a trending topic war yesterday.

So is Twitter censoring whatever they want to?

Many tweeters are under the belief that they are and that the trending topic was deliberately removed by the admin.

What's up with that Twitter?

Successful Troll Is Successful

2009-10-21T11:31:00.000-04:00

Fuck me I love the internet. Especially when popular websites get trolled. There are a lot of trolls out there people. You gotta learn how to spot them. Cause if you can't... you end up looking like a fool and the troll gets a fucking good laugh. We get a good laugh too. All because you fell for some stupid little trick that someone played on everyone. So keep an eye out people. Be careful what you read and what you reply to. It may just be a trap.

Take a look at this. Yahoo! Answers

'Good work guys.'

See what I'm saying? That's how easy it is to get trolled. Browse around on the internet for a while and see if you can spot any more and let me know. I'll be back later.

Hardly Skating Pt. 4

2009-10-20T16:34:00.000-04:00

Here we go again. The best of the worst. The worst of the best. It's 'Pro Bails 4'. This is the 4th installment of the 'Hardly Skating' series. The best collection of slams, bails, and falls from your favorite skateboarders. Make sure to check out the first 3 episodes of Skate Bails too. ~~And remember, safety first.~~. Enjoi!

Git-R-Stuffed

2009-10-20T01:07:00.008-04:00

Looking for a good site to view some great pictures of the most bizarre stuffed (not teddy bear stuffed. dead animal on the wall stuffed) and mounted animals around? Well I think I may have found just what you are looking for.

CRAPPY TAXIDERMY

They have just what you need. An assortment of pictures taken all over the world of animals, and animal things, stuffed and mounted and whatever else for your sick viewing pleasure. Animal activists and hippies might not like what this site offers. So it might be best for you to fuck off.

Here are a few examples of some things you can look forward to seeing.

They have some that are funny.

Some that are just plain stupid looking.

Even some that are disturbing.

And then they have this evil little demon-ducky which I just can't get enough of.

So check out the site and have a laugh. It's worth it. Unless you're going to be all emotional and cry over the pictures and send out gay little e-mails to everyone trying to get the site banned and the people who did this locked up. Fuck you. I already told you people what to do.

Ghoasts?

2009-10-19T14:03:00.000-04:00

A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture on the supernatural and paranormal. To get a feel for his audience, he asked how many people there believed in ghosts? About 80 students raised their hands.

The professor thought they were off to a good start. He continued and asked out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost? About 40 students raise their hands.

The professor said to the student body that was very impressive. He then asked if anyone Has ever talked to a ghost? About 15 students raise their hand.

The professor pursued asking if anyone here ever touched a ghost?
Incredibly, three students raise their hands.

The professor was intrigued and said that is fantastic but I have one more question to ask you three, have any of you ever made love to a ghost? Way in the back, Dick raised his hand.

The professor took off his glasses, and said “Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever come forward and claimed to have made love to a ghost. You have got to come up here and tell us all about your experience.”

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to amble his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asked, “So Dick, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

Dick replied, “Oh shit teacher, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

Costume Controversy

2009-10-18T19:58:00.003-04:00

Look at this Halloween costume. An Illegal Alien. I happen to think it's quite funny. But apparently a lot of other people do not and this costume is causing quite a stir.

Immigrant rights activists (whatever the fuck that means) are demanding that retailers around the U.S. stop selling this "controversial" costume, calling them an attack on illegal immigrants.

Since when did people who are not even supposed to be here have rights to bitch about what they think is 'offensive'?

Apparently some 'good citizens' saw the costumes online and decided to whine and bitch, so they e-mailed The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles (CHIRLA), who then sent e-mails to retailers including Target and Amazon, and asked if they could discontinue the item.

Jorge-Mario Cabrera, of CHIRLA, said that the costume is a "swipe at illegal immigrants".

Really? Of all things going on that you could bitch about you want to complain and be offended by a Halloween costume that takes its idea from one of the oldest jokes around?

Cabrera was quoted saying, "This was an ignorant attempt to poke fun at a small community."

What? Poke fun at a small community? I think if we wanted to do that we would make trailer park costumes. This isn't poking fun at a 'community', it's poking fun at the 'TITLE' that has been given to the people of that so called 'community'.

This type of thing happens all the time. Many Halloween costumes often merge with politics. But many people are just too stupid to get it and many people do not find this costume funny at all.

Sucks to be you.

Guillermo Iglesias said that both of his parents were Illegal Immigrants in the U.S. and said he found the costume offensive because it depicts illegal immigrants as "not one of us".

No shit. Because until you go through the LEGAL process of coming over here and becoming a citizen you are not 'one of us'.

For fuck's sake! It would be one thing if the costume came with a Cheech Marin head, but it's a fucking alien. I do think that if Extra Terrestrials from Outer Space came here they would be considered 'Illegal Aliens'. Amirite?

Iglesias was also quoted saying, "I have a lot of illegal immigrant friends,"... "If I showed them that costume, it would really hurt them."

Awww. Too bad. Here's an idea: Why don't you tell us who you're friends are and lets find out if it really hurts them. Then during the whole thing Immigration will suddenly show up for unkown reasons and you all get deported.

I bet that guy dresses up on Halloween in that costume.

Despite all of the controversy, many stores are still keeping the costume in stock and say that it's a huge hit.

I bet it is. Cause not everyone is an ignorant fuck-head who wants to cry about little things like a Halloween costume

William Gheen, the President of Americans for Legal Immigration, is a man who understands what is going on and can see 'the whole picture'. He actually gets it. Literally. He said that he was actually going to purchase a costume and he calls the reaction unfounded.

"The only people getting upset are the hyper-sensitive, over-politically correct, pro-amnesty, illegal alien-supporting nuts," said Gheen. "You can't attack people's freedom in this country."

THANK YOU!!! Hats off to you Mr. Gheen. We need more people like you.

"I think having a costume like that is distasteful," said Andrea Hill, outside of Ricky's. "But if it's not illegal, I think it's alright for them to sell it.

And you are? That's right. Nobody. No one gives a fuck what you think lady. "If it's not illegal". What? Illegal Halloween Costumes? There is no such thing. You know what you should be for Halloween Andrea Hill? Dead. Go kill yourself.

Contradictions & Hamsters

2009-10-18T00:17:00.001-04:00

OK... so I wrote in my last post about the best thing to take to a Halloween party. As in food items. And it ended up being fetus cookies. And I also named off some other items such as jello brains and stuff that I thought we not as "disgusting". But apparently I was wrong about the fetus cookies. I found some things that were much more gross. Maybe not quite as disturbing though. Which still puts the fetus cookies ahead of everything else. To me anyway.

But whatever. Check out This SyFy Post about some disgusting candy that no one will want to ever touch. Let alone eat.

Oh.. one more thing. A little off subject but I must do it.

Click the Panda to read a wonderful Blog written by a Hamster.

Shmashmortion

2009-10-17T13:55:00.001-04:00

Halloween is coming up and you have a party to get ready for. Perhaps with friends, parents, work, or whatever it may be. You're pretty set on your costume and know what you will be going as. Now all you need is something spiffy to take with you. Maybe Something like some kind of treat for all those tricks. Spooky cupcakes? no. Little jello brains? stupid. Zombie cookies? close. (Actually those sound better than what I'm actually writing this about) You need something really deranged. Something really over the top. Something that really screams horror. (or that you're a lunatic) Anyway... Hogmalion has just the thing for you.

Fetus cookies. Perfect for any Halloween celebration. Freak your parents and co-workers out of their tiny little conservative minds with these cookies. Of course you have to make them yourself. They don't actually sell the cookies. They just sell the Fetus shaped cookie cutters.

So hurry up and get your hands on these little fuckers. Cause even if you don't have a fancy Halloween party to go to, it would still be pretty fun to eat some little chocolate chip fetuses. At least I think so.

Cannibis Cooking

2009-10-16T13:40:00.000-04:00

I thought it would be fun to share with you guys some insights into 'Dutch cooking'. The original chocolate truffels are from Belgium, but they are also well known in Holland. In this instructional cooking video, you will learn how to make the 'Dutch' version of these delicious chocolate truffels.

The Dutch chef in this video is named "Baard" (Beard) and he has a whole variety of cooking videos where he teaches viewers how to make a number of recipes using weed. He doesn't speak English unfortunatley, but the video below is subtitled so that everyone can watch and enjoy.

'Bakken Met Baard' (Cooking With Beard)

You Can't Park Your Car Here!

2009-10-15T14:28:00.000-04:00

The Portland, Oregon skate park, known as 'Burnside', is pretty well known for not allowing bikes into their park. (Well known if you skate I guess) They have signs and graffiti that say so. "No bikes" can be seen tagged on the wall under the parks name. But now it seems as if the Portland skaters have a new issue at hand. And they will now be trying to keep more than just bikes out of their park.

What's that you ask?

Cars. The skaters will now have to let motorists know that they are not allowed to bring their vehicles into the skate park to try and do blunt-to-fakies. And according to these pictures released today, that's apparently what someone tried to do.

Fuck. That oil spill is going to be slippery for a long time.

Photos are copyright of Thrasher Skateboard Magazine

Nightmare Walkin'

2009-10-15T02:53:00.002-04:00

Florida is the home to a lot of popular DJ's. Some of the best of all time hail from the great Sunshine State. DJ Baby Anne, DJ Icey, Jackyl & Hyde, Rabbit In the Moon, etc. The list can go on.

Every year DJ Monk of Rabbit In the Moon, along with a few selected other DJ's, throw the most bad ass show techno fans and ravers have ever fucking seen. And I'm here to show you a little taste of what the fuck it's all about. Prepare to bleed from your motherfucking eyes and ears.

I now present to you...

'Blood On the Turntables'

Shred The Gnar

2009-10-14T16:57:00.008-04:00

If you've been a skater for a long time like me, or if you just enjoy the wonderful sport of pushing wood, then you might have a list of favorite skate videos. I mean, what skater doesn't? I certainly do. There are a shit load of skate videos out there on the market, and so many different styles of skating that there is a good chance one of your favorite videos will open the eyes of someone else to something new that they might not have ever seen before.

Most skateboarding companies pump out new skate videos, and it's hard to know what is worthy of spending your hard earned weed money on. So just to help anyone out that is looking for some good skating to watch, I've put together a list of, 'My Favorite Skate Videos'. So Enjoi, and feel free to post your own list of your favorite skate videos.

FliP:Sorry

FLiP:Really Sorry

Foundation:That's Life

Girl:Yeah Right!

Adio:One Step Beyond

Almost:Round Three

Zero:Misled Youth

Element:Elementality

éS:Menikmati

Baker:Baker 3

Toy Machine:Good & Evil

Zero:New Blood

Blind:What If?

DVS:Skate More

Emerica:This Is Skaeboarding

Element:This Is My Element

The Fix Is In

2009-10-12T13:53:00.003-04:00

"What we are looking at on all our TV sets is a man who finally, after 24 years of frenzied effort, became the President of the United States with a personal salary of $200,000 a year and an unlimited expense account including a fleet of private helicopters, jetliners, armored cars, personal mansions and estates on both coasts and control over a budget beyond the wildest dream of King Midas . . . and all the dumb bastard can show us, after five years of total freedom to do anything he wants with all this power, is a shattered national economy, disastrous defeat in a war we could have ended four years ago on far better terms than he finally came around to, and a hand-picked personal staff put together through five years of screening, whose collective criminal record will blow the minds of high-school American History students for the next 100 years."

Such a great political quote form the Good Doctor. Pay close attention to it. It's almost eerie. It speaks so much truth, and not only about Nixon.. but about some other Presidents we have had over time. It's almost as if he is talking about nearly every president sense the late 1960's. Damn good Hunter... damn good.

I hope you enjoy reading that as much as I do. I think i love it enough to give it a bampity bamp. Is it that good? Is it?

Yeah... it is.

Counter-Struck

2009-10-11T22:27:00.000-04:00

If you read my blog (I don't know who 'you' is exactly) then you know I'm a big video game fan. Especially Counter-Strike. I guess you would know that. Maybe not. I only wrote about it once I think. Anyway. I play a lot of Counter-Strike. And by a lot I mean it's the only game I play. And I found this video online of Counter-Strike portrayed in real life. It's damn good. And if you play Counter-Strike like I do... or at all... then you will appreciate it.

How To Catch A Blogging Predator

2009-10-11T15:43:00.003-04:00

You find you're way here alright?....

Why don't you have a seat right over there.

Thanks for the help Chris, but I think I can handle it from here.

~~Well... I've been sitting here on this wonderful Sunday looking at numerous other blogs I've come across for ideas to steal because I'm too effing lame to think of my own material.~~

While sitting here thinking upon the ponder while I'm pondering the thought, I thought about some hilarious ideas for some new sports that should be played/marketed/broadcast for everyone's amusement.

No that's a lie too. Actually the truth is I came across this picture that I found to be one of the fucking funniest things I think I have ever seen. That might be a lie also. But still... this is pretty goddamn funny.

You know you would watch it.

The Best Of The Best

2009-10-11T01:16:00.003-04:00

We all love video games. And if you don't... well then go kill yourself. Video games are the shit. Great for fun, passing time, interacting with people/friends. It's limitless. And over the years we come across some pretty interesting characters. And by interesting I mean fucking bad-ass. Lets just not even think about the shitty characters that no one cares about. Or at least that I don't care about. So I put together a list. Yes... that's right... another list. Fuck off.

This is my 'Top 10 Favorite Video Game Characters'.

#1. Solid Snake

#2. Gordan Freeman

#3. Earthworm Jim

#4. Link

#5. Cloud

#6. Gex

#7. Lara Croft

#8. Mario

#9. Banjo Kazooie

#10. Megaman

So I Heard...

2009-10-09T18:40:00.003-04:00

You liek Mudkipz

No I'm just kidding. Don't hit me. On another note, I have a new life rule that I follow.

'If you don't like it... Break it.'

That's basically it. If something sucks, it should not have the right to exist. So take that piece of shit and smash the fuck out of it. OK I'm getting way out of hand here. But really... if you don't like something then just break it. Something doesn't have any use or value if it isn't cared for. Or something like that.

Just don't go around breaking people. Stupidity isn't a good enough reason to break people. Although it should be, it isn't. So for now we just have to deal with it. I know... I know.

Pound Sign Bat Pets

2009-10-07T16:25:00.001-04:00

Everyone loves animal. OK that is an understatement. But for the most part people do. Mike Vick loves them. And so should you. I happen to love animals more than I love people. To the point where I dream of having a large variety of pets. All kinds of animals. Well not all kinds. I'm pretty sure I cant have a Rhino or a Whale Shark roaming around the house. Maybe if I had a large house underwater. But then the Rhino would drown I guess. Fuck. That wouldn't work at all.

Anyway...

So as I was saying. I would love nothing more than to have a house full of animals of all sorts. So I'm going to list my 'Top 10 Most Wanted Pets'.

A Bulldog named Hand Banana

2 Siamese Kittens named Echo & Stellar

2 Bats named Murcielago & Diablo

A Kangaroo named Roger

A Parrot named Dr. Gonzo

A Llama named Hans

A Fox named Marcus

A bike riding Monkey named Azamat Bagatov

Update From the Dirty

2009-10-07T00:15:00.001-04:00

On my way to Texas I made a pit stop in the 'Deep South' at my sisters to visit for a while. I never did like it down here. That's for sure. It's Octooer so it's pretty fucking cold right now. Well it's actually not THAT cold... but I've lived in Florida for half of my life so anything below 75 degrees is cold to me. I mean, we don't really have a "winter" in Florida. February is basically our winter. And it doesn't get very cold. I recall times of going to the beach on Christmas.

But anyway back to the deep south.

It's dirty. It smells. And the worse part about it which makes me just want to kill my self right now is that there are a shit load of spiders. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I can't stand it. Why? Why does there ever have to be so many goddamn spiders in one place? There is no reason. It's bullshit. Nothing I can do though. I won't be here for very long anyway so I'm trying to not think about it.

And I can't fish. That another thing that sucks. If you know me you know how much I love to fish. But I'm no longer on the Ocean so fishing is stupid to me up here. Im a salt water angler. I don't know anything about fresh water and bass fishing. So fuck it. I'll just wait till I can get back to the Salt Life.

That's enough bitching I'd say. On a good note there is one positive thing about this place. They have fucking hella skate spots. Dozens of stair sets of all various sizes. Ledges for days. Gaps, rails, you name it. No transition which kind of bums me out. But I'm not going to sweat that.

Well... that should do it for now I think. Guess I'll get back to my bottle of Rum.

Jesus, There You Are

2009-09-29T23:07:00.002-04:00

So while browsing around online, and checking out many other blogs so that I could steal some ideas and make them my own, I came across this site.

"The Top 10 Oddball Jesus Sightings."

The guys (or guy... I don't know how many there are) over at 'The Shark Guys' (I'm guessing it's guys since it says 'Guys' in the title) have posted a somewhat interesting, and semi-funny blog about the Top 10 Jesus sighting. No not real sightings like Alien or Bigfoot sighting. That is unless you found Bigfoot in your grilled cheese. But Jesus sightings as in his face in the most bizarre and random objects. Apparently Jesus shows himself all the time. Only he's in our food. Or sofa. That's odd of him. I would feel like a complete jackass if I prayed to a sandwich every night. So I'm just not going to do that. From looking at this list you can see that people have found Jesus in a variety of objects. So I devised a plan so that you at home can also find Jesus in whatever the hell you would like to. And maybe if your lucky, make some cash off that hippy.

Just simply print out this stencil, cut it out very dangerously with the sharpest blade you can find, and place it on any object that you wish to pray to. Then all you do is paint it, burn it, or whatever you would like to do to make his face stick. Put it on your food, a chair, your neighbors dog, or your girlfriends vagina. It doesn't matter. With this stencil the possibilities are endless. Just like Jesus.

Lucky There's a Family Guy

2009-09-29T03:26:00.001-04:00

It's been nearly 11 years since the first episode of Family Guy aired on TV on January 31, 1999. If you have never seen Family Guy I suggest you check it out. Over the past decade, Family Guy has brought us countless humorous moments, and a countless number of hilarious characters to go along with them. Some funny... some just plain strange... and some I don't even have the words to describe. To celebrate all the success of America's most popular cartoon, and to honor and thank Seth McFarlane for giving us all those years of laughter, I have decided to put together a list of 'The Top 10 Family Guy Characters'.

#1. Fjurg Van Der Ploeg

#2. Adam West

#3. Bruce / Tōbí

#4. Herbert

#5. Ollie Williams

#6. Ernie the Giant Chicken

#7. Obie

#8. Death

#9. Evil Monkey

#10. Stewie Griffin

Famous Tokes

2009-09-28T16:50:00.000-04:00

I just noticed that i haven't done a "Stoner" post yet. Or anything related. So i guess i should do that now while i have nothing else going on or on my mind to talk about or say.

Stoners are all around us. They have been for a long long time. And they will continue to be around for ever. That's just fact. Some Stoners are more well known than others though. Such as the celebrity pot smokers. Everyone knows and loves them. They give us something to look up to you know. Like, hey look at them... they're rich and successful and they smoke pot. Guess it can't be that bad. But lets not get into the politics and the pros and cons of marijuana. That's for a later time.
For now I think I'll just post my 'Top 5 Favorite Celebrity Stoners'.

Bob Marley

Hunter S. Thompson

Cheech & Chong

Willie Nelson

Snoop Dogg

Hardly Skating Pt. 3

2009-09-27T19:50:00.000-04:00

It's that time again. The best of the worst. The worse skating bails to ever be captured on video. If you haven't seen Pro Bails 1 or 2 I suggest you take a look at my previous posts for them. I mean... it doesn't really matter if you haven't. It's not like they go in order. It's not a fucking movie. It's just pro skaters slamming into concrete. Basically. Anyway this is part 3 of the 'Hardly Skating' series. So Enjoi.

Old Skool

2009-09-25T16:29:00.002-04:00

Nostalgia.

I love that word.

We all miss our childhood. Well I'm sure some people don't. Like the people who were raped, or beat, or murdered when they were younger. Wow. Could have gone without mentioning that. But if your anything like me you miss all the fun times you had when you were a kid. The playing... the friends... the cartoons... the toys... and having an imagination that could take you anywhere at anytime. I happen to miss my toys and cartoons that I enjoyed when I was young the most. So I've gathered a few pictures of some of my favorite childhood memories. Lets see who can relate to some of these things.

No Country for Dr. Phil

2009-09-24T12:13:00.000-04:00

You know what really grinds my gears?

...wait. I already did this didn't I?

Fuck It.

You know what really grinds my gears? Dr. Phil. I still hate this guy. The way he looks... the way he acts... the way he talks... the way he thinks he's helping people. He's not even a doctor. He can't help people. What the fuck does he know? And lets not forget the little Britney Spears incident. Where he tried to "help" here and ended up getting himself into some shit because he's not licensed to help people. He's a fraud. A fucking joke. He exploits people to the fullest to make them look as bad as they can be. And then tries to act like he knows whats wrong with them and how to fix them. Well you can start by not putting their shit out there and talking down on them. You fucking idiot. He just offers 'advice'. If that's what you want to call it. No one wants your shitty advice you cock mongler. When is someone going to do something about this guy? I think Steve Wilkos should hit him with a chair. A hardcore wrestling match with Steve vs. Dr. Phil. I'd pay to see it. As long as Dr. Phil gets hurt. Fucker.

And if not... I'd like to take one of those air compressed cow killer things and smash a hole in his fucking skull.

That is all.

I Am the Master

2009-09-21T21:45:00.000-04:00

[adult swim] is probably the only thing that keeps me watching TV. That and UFC. That's about it. Oh, and the History channel. I'm a History channel junkie. I love to learn. Would you have Guessed it?

Anyway. I remember when Adult Swim back in the day, with only four shows or so. Aqua Teen, Harvey Birdman, The Brak Show, and Sealab 2021. I think that's it. But over the years shows have come and gone. Adult Swim can even (and I mean this) take responsibility for popularizing Futurama. No one wanted to run Futurama and then Adult Swim picked it up. After it was on Adult Swim for a while and had great rating everyone wanted it. But who cares about all that.

There is one show that I have always loved since the beginning. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It's actually the first Adult Swim show I saw and ever since it's been my favorite.

If you don't know what ATHF is I suggest you take a look at it. It revolves around a couple of characters (they're items of food) living in New Jersey. There is Frylock, a large floating box of french fries with a goatee. He's the brains of the crew and keeps the others out of as much trouble as he can. Then we have Meatwad. Who is basically just a ball of raw meat. He has the brain of a 3 year old. Then there is my favorite, Master Shake. A large Milk Shake. He is the original leader of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He's the smart-ass of the group. He torchers Meatwad and usually causes trouble. I could go on about this but that will take up a whole page.

Anyway... in honor of Master Shake, lets take a look at some of his most classic moments. This is the 'Ode to Shake'.

Jesus! You're Hot!

2009-09-20T21:40:00.000-04:00

We can all agree that religion and it's followers have declined within the last few years. And this can be said about any form of religion. Christianity mostly though I would say. And I can't help but wonder why that is. After thinking about it for a while the only thing I could come up with is science. I think science has taken over religion. But then while talking to a friend who I won't name (Liam) he made me realize the real reason why religion numbers are down. It's because of the way Jesus looks. Most people think he is either black or white. Well, if you;re retarded you do anyway. But from what I've come to understand, Jesus came form the middle east. Which would mean he looked like Osama Bin Laden. What the hell. And I Think this plays a factor on people finding religion.

Jesus was not the most attractive person. According to my friend, who again I won't name (Liam), he thinks Jesus should be an attractive, fit, and down right sexy man. (These are his words.) Basically he wants his Jesus to look something along the lines of High Jackman. Wolverine for Jesus. I think that would make the follower number rise a little. But then I thought about it. That would only attract females and gays. Well maybe not gays, I don't think many of them are religious. Anyway. I thought about something that could attract everyone to find religion. Then I thought about one of my previous blog posts. MILFs. If Jesus were a MILF everyone would want to be religious. Men would do whatever they were told... and even women would be attracted to the new sexy MILF Jesus. And don't act like you wouldn't ladies. Cause that is bullshit.

I say we rewrite the bible, and replace Jesus with a hot ass MILF. Fuck Yeah!

The Counter-Strike Source

2009-09-18T17:54:00.004-04:00

One of the more popular online games is Counter-Strike. Counter-Strike is a multi-player, online first-person shooter computer game that originated from the game Half-Life. It puts terrorists against counter terrorists in a very realistic combat simulation. And let me tell you, it is a very interesting game.

For instance the terrorists in the game don't really have any interest in carrying out their missions. Other than planting bombs on occasion. Instead they just kind of want to lure counter-terrorists to a random location and kill them. Most terrorists usually want to take hostages, blow shit up, or take over a building in order to scare people. Not these guys. They could care less if you save their hostages or disarm all their bombs.

But for all you so called 'noobs' who have never played, it could be very difficult and scary playing for the first time. So... I'm going to give you a few tips. We'll call this the 'Counter-Strike Guide for Noobs'.

GAMEPLAY TIPS

Never Camp. Camping refers to the action of sitting in one spot for an extended period of time. Usually 10 milliseconds. If you crouch in a spot and stay there... you will be labeled a 'fag'. And you're mother will usually be brought up also. This can (at times) include guarding hostages or bomb sites.

The AUG Sniper Rifle, Automatic Shotgun, MP5 Sub Machine gun, and any weapon that can penetrate skin are looked down on by skilled Counter-Strike players.

Killing an opponent from a distance is cheap. Killing an opponent from behind is cheap. And aiming bullets at an opponents head will only create a horrific scene.

The only way to actually not offend the other players is by charging at them head on out in the open and not strafing. Of course you have to announce your presence to the enemy and attack directly at the front. Otherwise it's just cheap.

Every death should be followed by: "What the fuck?!" or "Bullshit!". This will let the enemy players know that you are not happy about dying. And remember that the game hates you specifically.

Every time something does not go your way, be sure to let every one in the game know you hate it with creative phrases such as: "Fuck Counter-Strike!" or "I hate Counter-Strike!". But be sure to never actually stop playing the game. And continue to comment on how the game should be played.

Make sure to have a bad ass name. Something along the lines of '{SuP4hl33tk1LLa}CaP-a-CoP '. This will instantly scare all the other players into dropping their guns and running away when they see you. Never, under any circumstance should you use correct spelling in your name. This would mean that you spent more time learning English than playing Counter-Strike. Loser.

There are tons of maps to play in Counter-Strike. If it is your turn to choose a map to play, just pick one. Never ask the Counter-Strike community for help or opinions on which map should be played. You'll never play.

EQUIPMENT

Kevlar is the type of armor that terrorists and counter-terrorists use when they want to travel light, or decide that good armor is for pussies. It's sole purpose in this game is to increase the time you die from .02 seconds to .02000003. If it did provide any protection, it would just be cheap.

The HE Grenade is supposedly a high powered explosion device, but you could actually shove it down an enemy's throat and it would only do 16 damage. It should only be used when all your weapons are out of ammo, and your knife is still stuck in the wall.

The Flash Grenade is a magical little device that when it goes off, every person on your team will go blind for about 10 seconds and the enemy will laugh at you and gun you down. This can also work to your advantage since after all your teammates go blind they will stop playing to type how much they hate you and you can use them as human shields.

The Desert Eagle or referred to in the game as 'The Deagle' (never refer to it by its real name, the Nighthawk .50C) is not the only pistol in Counter-Strike. It may take time before you see other players using something else such as a P228 or a Five-Seven. This could be because the Desert Eagle can kill anyone with 2 shots and every other pistol requires hammering down on the trigger for about 15 seconds before it kills anything.

The Elites, or 'Dualies' is the most expensive pistol in the game, and also the worst. This is actually two pistols, and if you are stupid enough to buy them, then you run around with one in each hand. Every shot with the left pistol goes slightly left, and the right pistol goes slightly right. This means that if you are good, you'll hit your target 0% of the time. If you suck, then you will be lucky and hit your target every other shot.

The TMP or, 'Tactical Machine Pistol', is used by the Counter-Terrorists. People who use this gun will tell you that is has a fast rate of fire, it's accurate, and it reloads quickly. This is all true. There is a downside to this gun though. In order to actually do any damage you have empty at least 40 shots into an enemy before enough damage is done to round up to 1. After that, the enemy will turn around and clobber you with a Deagle. Which he bought for half the cost of your TMP. Nothing is more humiliating than being slaughtered by low-budget terrorists.

The UMP is the latest addition to the Counter-Strike weapon lineup. They took the MP5, and made it worse in every single category, made it cost more, and called it the UMP. Smaller clip size, does less damage, fires slower, and costs more. A good gun to have if you want to chip a terrorists tooth.

The Steyr Scout is a great Sniper Rifle is you're new to the game or the constant harassing has drained all your will to live. If you even hit your enemy and the game registers it, your enemy will turn toward you, give you the 'I am superior' laugh, and blast your head off with his, you guessed it, Deagle.

The AW/M is the feared and hated 'Arctic Warfare Magnum' sniper rifle often referred to as "The gun that the fucking noob killed me with". It has been toned down in recent versions, and you need to actually point it in the enemy's general direction, rather than the general direction of the continent they're standing on. If the target doesn't die by chance of sheer terror, you might have to go through the time-consuming process of pulling the trigger, which will inflict about the same damage as getting hit in the eye with a anti-tank-missile covered with anthrax.

OPPONENTS

Knowing your enemy is always a good advantage. So lets take a look at some of the individuals you will be taking on and killing in Counter-Strike.

After watching several war movies 100 times the 'Captain' has learned everything there is to know about urban combat. Not only is he a military genius, but he is benevolent enough to share his foolproof battle plans with the rest of his team, and also informs everyone when their strategies do not meet with his approval. Lucky them.
The Captain's signature move is along the lines of yelling "Rush right!" and charging himself off into a hail of enemy gunfire, then repeatedly saying, "u stupid lusers didn't rush w/me or id be alive. assholes".
Your best strategy against him is taking a shot at him with a pump shotgun from across the map. You can easily dispatch him later when he stops playing to type out a 500-word essay on why shotguns should not be used at long range.

Much like morons you find in chat-rooms, the 'Sociopath' is an angry and bitter child who masquerades as a big tough guy who will not hesitate to kick your ass if you look at him the wrong way or use the wrong emoticon. He may seem like a harmless player, but in groups they are capable of inflicting lethal levels of annoyance. The Sociopath hates Counter-Strike and everyone who plays it (and everyone who doesn't) but he will keep playing the game, simply because it's the only way he can get out aggression at other people without getting his glasses broken.
The Sociopaths signature move is blasting other players with incredibly callous and witty insults such as "fag", "fAg" and "FAG".
Best strategy against him would be to insult the band Slipknot and with any luck wil ensue in screams of rage waking his parent up in the next room and he'll have to turn his computer off and go to sleep.

The 'Gun Expert'. Typically a 30-year-old male who grew up with guns, owned guns, and graduated form the United States Institute of Guns. He has memorized the weight, muzzle velocity and warranty information for every gun since the 1600's and believes this extensive knowledge of firearms makes him a natural Counter-Strike player, and any kills against him are a result of the game's glaring inaccuracies.
Signature moves include messaging the person who just killed him and letting him know that the kill didn't really count because the muzzle flash form his AK-47 looked more like that of an AR-10.
Best Strategy would be to declare that Counter-Strike is the most realistic game of all time and there are absolutely no inconsistencies between the in-game guns and their real-life counterparts.

The 'Rookie'. Inevitably you'll run into someone who has never played CS before, but refused to learn anything about it. Usually this is a teenager who plays whatever his friends do, just to fit in. You will typically find him running around in a game asking questions like "whuts a flashbang?" and "why r u wearing a mask?", and getting answers ranging from "Perhaps you should read the manual." to "read the god damn manual". But since he has the same personality as a kid who tries to put together a model airplane without looking at the instructions, he will continue to stumble blindly through the game using the 'Learn As You Go' approach, while repeatedly saying "whats rtfm mean, stop saying rtfm to me it isnt even a word".
His most common signature move is attempting 12 times in a row to kill you by circle-strafing with a glock, and wondering aloud why it isn't working.
If there even is strategy against the rookie, it's taking the same approach as you would a fat kid during recess dodge-ball games back in elementary school. Do everything within your power to make sure he plays on the other team.

On average you will find 3 or 4 players known as the 'Chronically Depressed Dipshit'. They can be easily located by looking through the chat to see who is whining about how full of pain their life is while playing a game on a $2000 Dell Dimension their parents bought them for their 16th birthday. Do not try to inject logic into their whiny ramblings, because "you wouldn't understand". That or you will receive an angry series of messages detailing the romantic life of your mother.
Their signature move is getting an enemy in his sights and being unable to summon the energy to click the mouse button and fire.
Your best strategy is to type the opening line from any Marilyn Manson or NIN song. The CCD will get caught up in the moment, close his eyes and play through the song in his mind, only to snap out of it and discover you took advantage of the opportunity to run over to his guy and stab him to death. Giving the other players a laught at his expense. Two victories for the price of one.

The 'Rhodes Scholar'. He's smarter than you , and he isn't afraid to show it. Every single message form the Rhodes Scholar's keyboard is so full of intelligence and wisdom that the IQ overflow occasionally causes server crashes. If another player offends him, he'll respond by typing out a doctoral thesis on the differential calculus, on line at a time. Of course he'll do this after the round has started and his team has already rushed out to fight, so he'll get about a third of the way through before an enemy walks into the spawn, kills him, and calls him a moron. Signature move: Sending amazing well-written and thoughtful chat messages that do not contain any words less than four syllables.
Strategy is to tell him that trigonometry and algebra are the exact same thing.

The 'Cybertramp'. I hate to break it to you e-pimps, but the majority of sexy women online are actually sweaty 50-year-old men who have had a run in with the police after attempting to molest a mailbox. But the Cybertramp is betting on the power of human stupidity to ensure that noone realizes he is not actually a 21-year-old supermodel. So, needless to say, he fools people 98% of the time. He will join a server with a name like 'SexySniper' or '[HOT]Angel_Eyes', and will assume that nobody will question why a young attractive female would have to flirt with guys over the internet during a game of Counter-Strike.
The Cybertramp's signature move is flirty messages like, "Hey hunny, dun shoot me *giggle* ^_^:P".
Best strategy would be to do what comes naturally. Kill him.

Last but not least we have the 'Clanner'. This guy was a gamer back before gaming was cool. In every game he's played, be it Quake, DOOM, or The Sims, he has joined together with a clique of similarly-endowed gamers to destroy all comers at that particular form of online entertainment. He scoffs at all the simple fools who play games for stupid reasons like 'to have fun'. He lives for the thrill of railgunning someone into lava and picturing that person as the football captain who stuffed him into trash cans back in high school. He recently made the shift to Counter-Strike after hearing one of his two friends describe it as "totally neato".
The Clanner's signature move is dodging all your bullets, pulling out a pistol and plcing a bullet right between your eyes from 200 yards.
A good strategy against the Clanner is to make up a random abbreviation like 'tpias' and using it regularly. Clanners are terrified of being left behind in the great leetspeak arms race to sound like as much of an idiot as possible, so they'll ask you what it means. Makes up words to go along with the letters, and then change acronyms and repeat. Continue doing this for as long as it takes before the Clanner starves to death in front of his computer. Keep some food nearby to make sure he starves to death before you do.

Well, good luck. This guide should help you get started in the wonderful world of shooting other people randomly with the same three weapons, and complaining about the game being biased against you. And remember: when all else fails, cry 'bullshit'

I'd Like To

2009-09-17T17:46:00.014-04:00

MILF's. We all love them. And we'd all like bang them. I know I would. And so do you. But it's not every day we meet one is it? But that's what we have celebrity's for. And that's what brings us here. At first I was going to take a look at some of the Pros and Cons of MILF's but instead I decided it would be best to just make a list. I mean, who wants to read a bunch of bullshit, made up facts when you could just look at some sexy ass moms? Exactly. So lets start the countdown shall we. What we have here is the 'Top 10 Celebrity MILF's'. Have fun.

#1. Jessica Alba

#2. Halle Berry

#3. Elizabeth Hurley

#4. Jaime Pressly

#5. Reese Witherspoon

#6. Courtney Cox

#7. Denise Richards

#8. Angelina Jolie

#9. Kelly Ripa

#10. Lois Griffin

HONORABLE MENTION
Demi Moore

(This Post is dedicated to Liam. Thanks for everything fucker. Enjoy.)

Insert Fish Stick Joke Here

2009-09-14T16:30:00.003-04:00

It's 100% guaranteed! Kanye and his shenanigans appear to be the big thing right now. After his little interruption last night at the MTV Video Music Awards I figured I should write about it. Isn't that what blogger's do?

But first off... I didn't watch the VMA's because there were more important things going on. Such as football and the Chicago Bear's epic fail at winning against Green Bay. First it's 10-2 Green Bay, then 5 minutes later its 15-10 Bears. (Or something like that.) Then thanks to poor defense and Cutler's inexperienced pussy ass Chicago ended up giving the win to Green Bay (21-15). I mean, Green Bay did deserve it. That interception was phenomenal and could not have gone any better.

Back to Douchebag West. This was pretty much the only thing I saw last night at the VMA's. Taylor Swift won an award (Best Female Music Video I think.) over Beyonce. And Kanye wasn't having none of that. So while she was accepting her award Kanye storms the stage, takes her microphone and states that Beyonce had the best video. There were many different opinions and it even started a racial conflict on Twitter last night. Even celebs were posting their opinion. I think it was a rude act and whoever says different and thought it was funny and "cool" is just showing how immature and ignorant they are. I don't know. I could give a fuck less to be honest.

But anyway. Here is the video of what happened. You watch and decide.

But What Does It Mean?

2009-09-13T08:49:00.003-04:00

People have been wondering what the hell the name of my blog actually means. Their first guess is that I'm ripping off a song by the band Sublime. And well... I guess you could say that. I wouldn't say that I'm ripping them off though. Call it what you will, but I call it paying my respect to one of the greatest. It's more like a salute. But the song is called '40 Oz. To Freedom'. Yes I know. But I live in Florida... and down here (well I can only speak for South Florida) they don't sell 40 Oz. beverages. They only sell 32's. And since Sublime being one of my favorite bands, and the fact that I'm from Florida I figured I would combine the two to show you a little bit about me. My taste in music, and where I come from. That's basically it. Now fuck off.

All Your Base Are Belong to Us.

2009-09-12T01:37:00.013-04:00

America's favorite past time might be baseball, and Brazil's might be futbol... but there's one activity that the whole world participates in that brings us all together: Video Games.

Everyone loves to play video games... and over the last 30 years or so they have only gained in popularity. With the advances in modern technology, gaming companies have been able to develop some of the most realistic, most bizarre and fun games ever seen. From the Super Nintendo to the Xbox, and from PlayStation to the computer, there is a number of different platforms each with an endless number of games for you to enjoy. But like everything else in the world... some of the games have stood out a lot more than others. Even games that are 20 years old are still at the top of the list of most memorable and fun games to some people.

So lets take a look at what I think are the best games ever released over the years. I now present to you my list of the 'Top 10 Video Games.'
(Any game listed with sequels includes all games in the series.)

#1. Metal Gear Solid

#2. Half-Life

#3. Halo

#4. The Legend of Zelda

#5.Final Fantasy VII

#6. Resident Evil

#7. Twisted Metal

#8. Call of Duty 4

#9. Grand Theft Auto

#10. Earthworm Jim

Games that didn't make the list. Doom, Need for Speed, Super Mario, Madden NFL and Mortal Kombat.

8 Years Later

2009-09-11T08:24:00.004-04:00

Today marks the 8 year anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center 1 and 2, the Pentagon and Shanksville.

But since I honestly don't believe that a few amateurs with box-cutters can so easily take over a couple of commercial airlines and professionally hit 75 percent of their targets, this is more so for the remembrance of those who lost their lives that day. Otherwise I feel like I'm, in a way, paying homage to one of the most diabolical plans ever pulled off.

Now I'm in no way a conspiracy theorist, but I just find the whole thing to be a little, how should I put this... not right. But I'll save that whole debate for another day. Perhaps next year. I'm not here to argue facts and what looks like what, and how things couldn't have ever happened... I'm just here to simply show my love and respect for those 2,996 people that we lost on that infamous day 8 years ago. Ever since that day the only thing that the media has ever payed any attention to, like they always do, is the "killers". So it's up to us... the ones who really pay attention to the real tragedy and what's really important, to show everyone who lost their lives that day that we haven't forgot.

So in honor of those that we lost, and in honor of defying physics... this one is for you.

EPIC VIDEO IS EPIC

2009-09-10T10:39:00.004-04:00

I had intended to write about how much I fucking hate McDonald's and Dr. Phil, but I have something to share with you that's even better. If you know me, than you most likely know what a huge fan I am of the Guy Ritchie film 'Snatch'. It's at the top of the list. My all time favorite. Everything about it. Characters, story, dialogue. In my eyes... it's basically perfect. I know the damn thing by heart and can repeat the entire movie line for line. Also if you know me at all, you would know that I hate Star Wars. Plain and simple. It annoys the shit out of me and I think its retarded. With the exception of Yoda. He is pretty fucking cool. That's about it though.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. Not my addiction and not either one of those movies. While posting my best lulz on a little imageboard I like to call HELL, I was introduced to a Youtube video that amazed me. I didn't want to post a video cause I just did it last time, but this is too fucking good to pass up. It's a little fan movie someone made entitled 'Snatch Wars'. Taking sound clips from both Snatch and Star Wars, (whoever made this) placed them on video clips of Star Wars. And (whoever made it) took the character Bricktop from Snatch and made him the voice of Darth Vader, or as he is known in Snatch Wars, 'Brick Vader'.

The results are hilarious and I instantly had to share it.

Don't Be a Negaton

2009-09-09T13:58:00.003-04:00

In honor of 9.9.09 and all of the crap that surrounds it... such as Tim Burton, The Beatles, and of course Satan, I leave you with this video. It's a good song... but an even better show. And season 2 is on it's way. So look out for that. I know I can't wait. [asdwuilmt] <--my subliminal message.

Oh yeah... one more thing. I forgot to mention that i just saw that they are remaking 'Clash of the Titans.' 99% of the time I hate remakes and think it's a waste of time. But I'm kind of 50/50 with this one. I mean I haven't seen the original in fucking over 10 years... but it might be nice to see what they do with it. You never know.

Thou Shalt Pay for Thy Cowardly Blow

2009-09-09T10:01:00.005-04:00

So I just read this story (it's probably old) about a guy who went to a costume party dressed as Thor, and later returned home only to find that a burglar had broken into his house. Torvald Alexander of Edinburgh, Scotland, who is 6ft. and a construction firm manager, said he was attending a fancy dress up New Year's party, and since he has a Norwegian name, he decided to go as Thor. And being decked out in a red cape, and silver winged helmet, said that the mans eyes grew wide with terror the moment he saw him. And I'm sure if he had the Thor Hammer, it would have been even more frightening for the poor intruder. Apparently the guy had one to many drinks and decided to pull a late night break in. But he sure as hell didn't expect the God of Thunder to arrive. Luckily the guy didn't have time to steal anything. But I wonder... imagine if he was dressed up as something else and returned home to the burglar. So I thought about it. What would be the most fucked up thing that could find you breaking into their house? And then it came to me. One of these guys.

Veni-Vidi-Vici

2009-09-09T03:04:00.013-04:00

Well to be honest I didn't really want to do this right now... I actually had something else in mind that I wanted to write about... but since I said in my last post that I would do this, I feel kind of obliged now. I was going to do it before but I figured I would save it for later... and now, well, I want to do something else. But fuck it. I'll do it. I haven't really put much thought or research into this... actually I haven't put any thought or research into it. Oh well. But, here it is... my 'Top 10 Skaters' list. Now this isn't going off talent, style, popularity, or anything. This is just simply my top 10.

RODNEY MULLEN

DANNY WAY

DEAWON SONGMIKE VALLELYTONY HAWKALI BOULALABAM MARGERAGEOFF ROWLEYANDREW REYNOLDSCHRIS COLE

Still Hardly Skating

2009-09-08T22:04:00.002-04:00

I think it's that time again. To see some of the best (or worse depending on how you look at it) skating bails ever to be captured on camera. I was actually going to do a skating blog. Like 'Top 10 Skaters' or something. But... I think I'll save that for the next post. So until then... Enjoi.

Drinkin' a Beer, and Washing It Down

2009-09-08T11:24:00.005-04:00

Is it just me, or does beer taste so much better depending on your mood and what you are doing? Does your mood affect your taste buds in such a way that perhaps they trick your brain into thinking that you love something so much at that particular moment? Work with me here for a minute. Lets say... for example... your home alone on a Sunday... you slept later than you wanted to, no one wants to hang out, you ate some shitty shrimp chow mien, and the weather outside is anything but pretty. You got half a case in the fridge, but when you crack one open and have s sip, it just isn't that good. You thought it was a good idea... but now your second guessing your poor decision and you think, "damn, i don't even want this."

OK. Now... picture this little scenario. Your at, let's say... the beach. Or perhaps a lake for those of you who are not blessed with everyday ocean front access like yours truly, and you're with all of your friends. Hanging out, having a great time. The sun is shining, and the weather is perfect. You got the grill going with some kick ass barbecue. Your favorite band is playing on a nearby boat stereo. (Or truck for you lake swimmers.) And you feel as good as ever. You got more than one cooler stock full of Coronas and Budweiser's, and since you're in a good mood, you decide to crack open a cold one. And when you do... it is damn refreshing. Tastes good, feels good, and even makes the mood better.

Wonderful. Now can anyone tell me why this is. Is it the social setting that your in? You feel relaxed and comforted by the people who surround you? Or do you just have to be an alcoholic like me to enjoy a beer on any given day?

Stoned On the Zoo Plane

2009-09-08T08:45:00.004-04:00

Well I'm basically finished with my most recent book that I've been reading. Which is, "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72"... by the good doctor himself, Hunter S. Thompson. And I must say, for being nearly 40 years old it is genius. A remarkable piece of work that really gives you an inside look at American politics. But of course being a huge fan and having read many of Thompson's other books, I would not expect anything less. It also taught me a lot about politics itself. Not only from back in the turn of the century of the hippie movement, but also of today. Cause it goes without saying that politics from the Nixon area, to the new millennium of George W., have not changed awfully much. I'm not here to go into detail about the book. Or even review it for that matter. I'm just to here to say that I finally finished it and I thought it was fucking amazing. And well... that's basically it.

If you are a fan of Hunter S. Thompson and his work, or a politic junky, or just simply looking for some damn good gonzo journalism, I highly recommend this for you. But then again I would recommend all of Hunter's books... so that's really not saying much.